A note to all the men out there:
Go for women your own age! Maximum age gap 7 years, might stretch to 9 but that's it.. If you even resemble being close to my dad or uncle's age don't even try approaching me you sleezy ass! I'm young, free and wanna enjoy my youth - so no wrinkly lil men, I love my men young and firm which is compatible with my young body!
With love,
Yasmeen
Ps, old men I really do wish you all the happiness in the world, we're all entitled to love and be loved, but please with someone your own age
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
Intro to Dating 101
Number one:
Licking my hair or kissing or whatever it is on my hair is not a turn-on.. It makes me wanna throw up the fact that my hair is now all yucky coz its covered in your saliva..
Two:
If I'm too tired to have sex or on my period or don't feel like having sex, then it isn't my problem that you can't control your hormones.. Instead of humping my leg as a horny dog thinking it'll change my mind how about you head over to the toilet for some action with pammy and let me be!
Three:
Do not expect a kiss from me on the first date leave alone jumping in bed with you.. I hardly know you.. I need to cross examine you well, make sure you're not a possible convict and your mouth doesn't have sores or ulcers or anything that I don't want to share.. And don't question my decision.
Four:
Your hand just thinks of going down there for one second within my presence then that is it! Go see a doctor to check for any infections or anything weird happening coz constant rubbing and scratching of the crotch is disgusting and I don't wanna see it!
Five:
Flashing your boxers will not make you sexy.. If anything its pretty gay.. Boxers are meant to be hidden not shown off.. thats why you wear pants and a t-shirt!
Six:
You begin filling my fone with your phonecalls and text messages then be prepared for a big fat ignore.. I don't have time for you, I have a life and I have better things to do then listen to a man trying to get all lovey dovey on me!
Seven:
We all love to admire beautiful bodies, but do not be eyeing the ladies ass or cleavage while I'm talking to you nor me as a matter of fact! Please be discreet about it, women find men that stare weird!
Eight:
You want me to wear sexy lingerie, then be prepared to get adventurous with your underwear too.. It is afterall a two-way street..
Nine:
Men are lucky that their sexuality is very simple and even a simple Pammy can do the job.. Women, on the other hand, have a more complex sexuality.. Thus, pls do not create a complexity with my toys.. They're more loyal than any man I've come across and will always be there for me in time of need!
Ten:
Women do indeed look for commitment, but mentioning marriage will not make me fall into your arms like romeo & juliet.. You mention marriage one more time and you'll be marrying the hospital bed!
Eleven:
Women are sexy creatures, you have a problem with us enhancing and showing off our sexy sides then find someone else! You have it flaunt it! Let others admire beauty just as you do and get over your complexity!
Twelve:
I may be a bit of a feminist, but I still love chivalry in a man.. At the same time, don't you dare undermine me as a woman! Do open the doors for me, let me pass first, and pay the bills.. Don't you ever dare of taking me on a date then telling me you only have 5 dollars to spare so I have to pay the bill.. That's gonna get you landing face flat before you can finish your sentence!
and finally:
If I cook for you, you better like it if since I did put a lot of effort into it.. But don't expect me to cook for you daily and don't turn it into a habit.. I am not your cook nor your mother.. and if you even subtly hint that you want me to cook for your friends then its take out forever if I haven't dumped you already.
Licking my hair or kissing or whatever it is on my hair is not a turn-on.. It makes me wanna throw up the fact that my hair is now all yucky coz its covered in your saliva..
Two:
If I'm too tired to have sex or on my period or don't feel like having sex, then it isn't my problem that you can't control your hormones.. Instead of humping my leg as a horny dog thinking it'll change my mind how about you head over to the toilet for some action with pammy and let me be!
Three:
Do not expect a kiss from me on the first date leave alone jumping in bed with you.. I hardly know you.. I need to cross examine you well, make sure you're not a possible convict and your mouth doesn't have sores or ulcers or anything that I don't want to share.. And don't question my decision.
Four:
Your hand just thinks of going down there for one second within my presence then that is it! Go see a doctor to check for any infections or anything weird happening coz constant rubbing and scratching of the crotch is disgusting and I don't wanna see it!
Five:
Flashing your boxers will not make you sexy.. If anything its pretty gay.. Boxers are meant to be hidden not shown off.. thats why you wear pants and a t-shirt!
Six:
You begin filling my fone with your phonecalls and text messages then be prepared for a big fat ignore.. I don't have time for you, I have a life and I have better things to do then listen to a man trying to get all lovey dovey on me!
Seven:
We all love to admire beautiful bodies, but do not be eyeing the ladies ass or cleavage while I'm talking to you nor me as a matter of fact! Please be discreet about it, women find men that stare weird!
Eight:
You want me to wear sexy lingerie, then be prepared to get adventurous with your underwear too.. It is afterall a two-way street..
Nine:
Men are lucky that their sexuality is very simple and even a simple Pammy can do the job.. Women, on the other hand, have a more complex sexuality.. Thus, pls do not create a complexity with my toys.. They're more loyal than any man I've come across and will always be there for me in time of need!
Ten:
Women do indeed look for commitment, but mentioning marriage will not make me fall into your arms like romeo & juliet.. You mention marriage one more time and you'll be marrying the hospital bed!
Eleven:
Women are sexy creatures, you have a problem with us enhancing and showing off our sexy sides then find someone else! You have it flaunt it! Let others admire beauty just as you do and get over your complexity!
Twelve:
I may be a bit of a feminist, but I still love chivalry in a man.. At the same time, don't you dare undermine me as a woman! Do open the doors for me, let me pass first, and pay the bills.. Don't you ever dare of taking me on a date then telling me you only have 5 dollars to spare so I have to pay the bill.. That's gonna get you landing face flat before you can finish your sentence!
and finally:
If I cook for you, you better like it if since I did put a lot of effort into it.. But don't expect me to cook for you daily and don't turn it into a habit.. I am not your cook nor your mother.. and if you even subtly hint that you want me to cook for your friends then its take out forever if I haven't dumped you already.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
The Good Girl
We ( Yasmeen and I) were talking a few days ago and discussing ideal ways to get rid of men and dumping them. And the one that prevails as most popular was pulling a McNun or a McGuilt, which basically means playing the good girl card.
It goes something like this “ La I’m sorry I cant do this anymore. My moral and religious conscience is killing me alive. I cant pray every day knowing what I do. It’s wrong. . . etc etc. “
Of course other scenarios for putting this to use, is when you are somehow fooled into thinking someone is attractive and once you get to know them a bit( over the phone, texting, online, dinner) you think “darn I must have been drunk”. When you don’t want to take this to the next level and don’t want to “hurt” him by saying you aren’t interested or saying its not me its you, cause between you readers and me its never me its always them! This way you don’t break the dude’s spirit and he’ll bounce back to the game easily and you don’t have to do a lot of explaining and analyzing.
Remember girls we always have the upper hand. Use the good girl card powers and don’t abuse them. Guaranteed to work. I’ve used it soo many times I’ve lost count.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Equality of the Brazilian.
For years and years there has been immense pressure on women in this part of the world to have a brazilian wax. The reason: so its smoother for the men, and maybe so he remembers he is with a woman and not his gay friends? And they so easily and quickly forget that women are created with hair. I repeat women do have hair over their body just like men.
But why not pressurize our male counterparts to do the same! Its equally painful I'm sure, but the rewards are amazing with sex being more enjoyable!
From now on any man who wants his lady to have a brazilian must be prepared to have one too - its only fair that both the man and woman enjoy the comfort and pleasure from having a brazilian, after all sex was created for the pleasure of both sexes!
But why not pressurize our male counterparts to do the same! Its equally painful I'm sure, but the rewards are amazing with sex being more enjoyable!
From now on any man who wants his lady to have a brazilian must be prepared to have one too - its only fair that both the man and woman enjoy the comfort and pleasure from having a brazilian, after all sex was created for the pleasure of both sexes!
Flesh and Fun
What does anyone really want in a relationship? It’s so easy to get fixated on things that may seem to matter i.e height, weight, size, color, teeth, smell . . . . the list is endless really. But in the end it all comes down to chemistry that goes beyond physical and material attributes.
But that’s not what this blog is about. Yasmeen are I (Ward) aren’t trying nor will be providing anything profound or worth any literature award. All our adventures, escapades and stories are purely in the pursuit of the flesh and fun. Its never nothing serious. Well most of the time. We don’t take ourselves too seriously. Where we are originally from, what we do for a living or anything like isn’t relevant. We till the stories of a million Gulfian and Arab girls/women, a little exaggerated and dramatic. But all good stories are like that.
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